The shows
Shows so far – 9
Shows still to come – 13
Standing ovations – 9
Number of times I’ve forgotten to give my in-ear pack back to Paul at the end of a show – 9
Number of times Steven has yelled “JEEEEESUS!” on stage – 3
Number of times Craig has lost it laughing about “JEEEEESUS!” – 3
Number of dartboards at the Tamworth Abbott Hall – 9
Number of chords in the feel-good strum – it doesn’t matter, it feels good
Number of times Steven has sang Lionel Ritchie songs on stage – it doesn’t matter, it feels good
Number of times “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” has been sung on stage – 1. And it felt good.
Number of fans who have followed up on my soliciting of Kevin as a masseuse – 2. They wanted to feel good.
Number of times I’ve thought to myself “this is the best moment ever” as the final chords of Brian Wilson ring out – 9. SO GOOD!
Credit: Emily Plunkett, Canadian Beats
Food and drink
Number of steamies I tried in Montreal – A devastating 0.
Number of root beers I tried in an A&W in Napanee : Number of root beers I’ll be having again in my life – 1 : 0
Number of boxes of ‘Supreme crème à l’érable’ maple cookies consumed on the van – 3
Number of bagels Craig ate backstage in Montreal – around 14. (He says 9. But it was closer to 14).
Defeated by bagels
Number of times Steven has had soup on this tour – Anyone’s guess
Members of the Page Crew who have thrown up on this tour – 2
Number of minutes Kevin spent in a roadside bathroom on the drive to Montreal – a concerning, and directly related to the above, 16.
Travel
Number of moose we have seen : Number of times I have enquired about the likelihood of seeing a moose – 0 : 74
Number of times I asked for clarity about the size of a moose and received an answer so emphatic and gross that I’m now unsure if I actually want to see a moose – 1
Number of hours driving between the Highgate, ON show and the Winnipeg, MB show – 20
Number of ailments the band and crew will collectively incur on said drive – no idea but it’s not going to feel good.
Number of times Andy Samberg’s ‘Popstar’ has been quoted in the van – 1,348
Number of songs Steven made up on the drive between Montreal and Tamworth – 3
Hit rate of Steven’s improvised songs that I swear to God are catchier than anything else you’ll hear – 100%
Number of times I’ve had an opportune moment to do laundry but thought “I’ll be OK for a little while longer” – 7
Pairs of underwear I’ve had to borrow from Craig – 2
Number of shirts I’ve had to borrow from Kevin – 1
Number of farts in the van – oh I couldn’t even tell you.
You
Odds of having a good time at a Steven Page show this month – 100%.
Come on out, there’s lots of fun yet to be had…
